Socks of an Unacceptable Nature

4 Feb

Row of rejection from left to right: too tight, too small, too tall, wrong style, wrong color

I didn’t expect boys would have an accessory they cared so much about as they seem to about socks.  Socks just cover your feet to absorb sweat and prevent blisters – or so I thought.  The untold reality though is that the sock may just be the most crucial article of clothing a beast will wear.  In fact, the function of a sock apparently has absolutely nothing to do with its acceptance into your home.  I’ve deduced it is all about one of two things:  fit and appearance.

Honestly, I am still perplexed appearance plays into it at all  – most of the sock is covered by the shoe.  Not to mention, my beasts haven’t even mastered the art of assembling an outfit that matches. I’ve never made a big deal out of mismatched clothes, really.   In fact, I am pretty sure all shades of red are still equal in our home.  Crimson shorts with apple red shirts – no big deal.  Pairing brown and gray plaid with an easter egg green shirt is quite acceptable for them.  So why on earth do the socks mean so much?

So then there is fit.  My elder beast has taught me something I’ve never been aware of before now:  According to him, it is in fact possible for socks to be too tight.  It is to the point that once a new package of socks has been washed and dried, what was once an acceptable fit suddenly ‘chokes’ his feet.  Of course, I have no idea what I am talking about when I assure him they will stretch if he wears them for longer than one millisecond.  The next thing I know, I am finding 1/2 a dozen brand new men’s size socks in my younger son’s drawer — rejected after one use and handed down.

And back to appearance.  Our friends have lately been bemoaning the current obsession with the ‘high-performance’ sock.  Apparently, there are some socks with ‘new technology’ (that in itself makes me giggle) that have padding on all the right pressure points for high performance athletes.  The problem is that these high-caliber socks are about $13 per pair and going on the feet of kids who believe shoes are optional outside the home.  I am waiting for the day their son leaves a pair behind so I can wash them and see what all the fuss is about myself… but he covets these socks so that they are the only thing he doesn’t forget when he spends the night.   Thankfully, in our home, we aren’t dealing with this specialty sock – yet.

For my youngest, it is all about the ‘no-show’.  Unless he is playing soccer, skiing or wearing hiking boots, there is no way he’ll wear a sock that peeks out above his shoe.   And unless it is a dire circumstance, that sock will not be white either.  Not a problem for them to be mismatched in color either.  And surprisingly pink, bright orange and neon blue are also acceptable – but white is just weird.

My husband used to pick on me when I bought clothes for the boys as Christmas or birthday gifts.  “Clothes aren’t gifts,” he’d say.  But now he’s seen the wisdom in it.  Just as electronics have replaced Legos and action figures, nothing says Merry Christmas in our home like a perfectly fitted pair of socks under the tree.  I just realized, Saturday is big baby beast’s birthday….  time for some new socks.

Parenting Tip:  If they love it enough, they’ll buy it themselves.  Besides, clothes don’t make the man – character does.
[Matthew 6:27-33   Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. 30-33“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.]

4 Responses to “Socks of an Unacceptable Nature”

  1. MamaMoo February 4, 2012 at 7:15 pm #

    “if they love it enough, they’ll buy it themselves” totally true! Cute blog. Thanks for the laugh and affirmation that I am not the only mom in the sock war

  2. kewsmith February 4, 2012 at 5:15 pm #

    My boys are out of the house now but I remember when it had to be ‘no shows’. They were only white, grey or black. Oddly, my daughter occasionally wore socks that didn’t match. Now that they have moved out, when I do laundry, all the socks have a match. Amazing.

  3. zenmamajo February 4, 2012 at 4:20 pm #

    love the title…can totally relate


  1. Underwear Where? « Bringing Up Beasts - August 18, 2012

    […] really goes for socks too.  I found a pair near the back door on the ledge of our big picture window.  If we had company […]

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