Who are you woman?

4 Mar

At what point did I become this unclean leper that my beast refuses to come near or acknowledge knowing me?  Track season has started.  The day before the event, I went into my beast’s room to confirm which event(s) he’s running.  Since I was getting little response, I was happy to at least get him to admit that he did indeed want me to come and watch him run.  That night, we watched the race and since he was only in one event, we knew he could leave right after.

I saw my beast on the field walking towards the 50-yard line.  Since he was alone, I knew it would be okay to cross the track and intercept him so we could all leave as a family.  As he approached the 40-yard line, I saw a subtle smirk overtake his face as his gaze and path began to veer left away from me.  He knew I was coming and was trying to avoid contact.  “Nuh-uh,” I protested.  “I just want to ask you a question.”

And that’s how most public encounters play out nowadays.

In elementary, it was a big deal at our kids’ school when your parents dropped off a fast food lunch and maybe even sat to enjoy it with you.  Back then we’d always be welcomed with a big smile, thank you and possibly even an open hug in front of friends.  I guess the first warning sign that those amicable days of relationship and public conversation are over surfaced during the first year in middle school.  It was 6th grade when he claimed parents weren’t allowed to come to the lunchroom anymore “for security reasons.” I know from reliable sources that this just isn’t true.

I’ve pretty much given up on being a field trip chaperone too — unless it is a place I actually want to visit.  Last time I helped out “to be nice,” my son blew past me on the way to the bus whispering, “I don’t know you woman.”  It was made clear — don’t sit by him, don’t talk to him, don’t look at him and don’t think about him during this event.  Being around the Mother Beast had totally ceased to be cool.

I know not all kids are this way — I’ve seen some kids who still admit they have parents when they attend the band concerts, open house or sporting events.  I even saw one child actually wave to his dad in the stands at the track meet.  I think his dad actually got it on video too.  But not my beast.  Even during drop off in the morning, I am pretty thankful on the days I get a grunt after wishing him a good day at school.

I am working on a strategy to mold my younger beast so that he doesn’t have the same need for anonymity around me as he enters middle school next year.  I do the very thing that ‘experts’ warn against — I pit the behavior of one against the other.  So far it seems to be taking a hold.  My younger beast actually commented the other day, “I am never going to be like him and do that.”   Although I see it already taking place with my 5th grader.  I dropped him off last week and wished him a ‘good day.’  But in return, I received a “bye” with all the same skill and talent of a professional ventriloquist — no use of the jaw, lips, eye contact or facial expression.  Just in case any of his friends were looking.

I continue to ‘casually mention’ from time to time that if he is more agreeable to having me around, I’ll happily bring a pizza to lunch for him next year that he can share with his buds.  I mean, really, how cool is that? Delivery, not dine in. I won’t even try to stay or sit down.  I think it will work.

Parenting Tip: Child taking to long to come to the car?  Let them know you’re happy to come inside and find them.

[2 Corinthians 13:12 Greet one another with a holy kiss]


3 Responses to “Who are you woman?”

  1. Anonymous March 5, 2012 at 8:48 am #

    I so relate! I have been thinking aobut this and stressing about it a lot lately. My 5th grader, looks mad at the world and refuse to say much of anything as I am dropping him off and saying “Have a good day! I love you!” to him and his 2nd grader brother. (BTW- no kid can hear us so I have no idea why he won’t reply). Of course the 2nd grader gives me a sweet smile back and will say something… regardless if it is ” I love you, too”, “Thanks”, “Bye”, or a simple “OK” I am pleased with that because he at least notices me.:)

    • Bringing Up Beasts March 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm #

      There is hope — today I actually got a ‘bye’ from my 8th grader as I dropped him off. It was a good day.


  1. The Home Schooling Strategy « Bringing Up Beasts - March 28, 2012

    […] complained about not getting to school on time. I’ve complained about receiving acknowledgment from my beast when I’m on campus with him. I’ve figured out why home schooling is a […]

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