Disrespecting the Pantry

10 Dec

I'm pretty sure it's empty!

I’m pretty sure it’s empty!

Pretty much this picture speaks for itself.  It is probably related to the Cereal Box Bias post.  Which in turn is related to the problem inflicting most males discussed in Seek to See.  I don’t know, but this behavior is just perplexing to me.   If you consciously grab a fistful of protein bars on your way out the door or consistently binge on them as a snack between meals, you have to know when that box is empty.  Right?

Perhaps the influence from years of science fiction/fantasy entertainment like Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and Chronicles of Narnia has jaded the mind into thinking that things do just magically reappear.  But I don’t think protein bars are anything like Gandalf,  Yoda, Obi-Wan-Kanobe or Aslan.  First off, those guys were fictional.  Second, I’m pretty sure they weren’t covered in chocolate at any point in time, nor did they ever reside in a pantry.

Even my dog knows when her food bowl is empty because she’ll bark to alert me.  She doesn’t just wait there for the food to magically reappear.  And if she had opposable thumbs, I’m sure she’d be happy to take the initiative and refill her bowl. But then again, she IS a female….

And believe me, I have asked my beasts to return to the pantry so they could recycle or throw away the empty containers – over and over and over again.  Wow, is THAT apparently a major inconvenience for them!  And for some reason, I can’t seem to get that through my thick skull.  Because every time I ‘encourage’ them to find the empty box in the pantry, I don’t seem to get the most loving of looks.   I mean, how dare I request any type of follow through on such a complex task?

My favorite is finding potato chip bags full of crumbs and maybe 1-2 complete chips.  I never knew, until I was recently informed, that isn’t an empty bag.  Crumbs are edible and I wouldn’t want them to throw away whole chips now, would I?  Or my beloved Oreos that I relish for just the right occasions and how sad it is to find one left behind with 1/2 of its creme filing exposed due to a missing cookie shell in what was a 3/4 full container earlier in the day.  Oh, tragedy of tragedies.

It applies to liquids down to the last drop, bread bags with just the heels remaining, butter with less than a pat, honey that is visible but won’t leave it’s container and of course… toilet paper with one final square clinging desperately to an empty brown spool.  It’s like they can’t conceive empty unless you prove to them what empty means.

Yep, I’m blaming movies.  Because like their writers and directors, I spent my beasts’ early years replacing all these things they loved.   Pop-Tarts, fishy crackers, apple juice… Captain Jack Sparrow, Batman, Superman… I’m sure you can name a few too!

Parenting Tip:  When they’re hungry for more, they’ll believe the container’s empty and suddenly be eager to learn how to recycle again.

John 20:25  So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”  But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”


4 Responses to “Disrespecting the Pantry”

  1. hownottokillyourparents January 2, 2013 at 8:55 am #

    I have nominated you for a few blog awards. You can check the details here: http://hownottokillyourparents.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/more-awards-really/

  2. Carmen Perez December 11, 2012 at 6:26 pm #

    This is hilarious! Maybe the boys are trying to let you know to add these to the grocery list????

  3. hownottokillyourparents December 10, 2012 at 5:19 pm #

    My grandma is like this with crackers and cereal, but I think that’s more of a depression mindset than a blatant disregard for reality (although, on some days, it feels like one in the same).

    • Bringing Up Beasts December 10, 2012 at 6:19 pm #

      Good point – maybe for my boys it is intro to hoarding as my grandma was a low-level hoarder before it really had a name. She would have kept these empty boxes and used them to house Christmas presents.

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