Quantity, not quality

Bite-sized is relative

I don’t really care for fortune cookies.  The other day, I brought one home to my elder beast who was in his room studying or playing on his computer or doing both — sometimes he studies while he plays video games… different blog topic though.  I tossed the wrapped cookie to him and watched as he promptly unwrapped it and put the entire thing in his mouth to which I remarked, “Uhhhh, the fortune is still inside.”

Without expression, he pushed the whole, unbitten cookie back out of his mouth, cracked it open, removed the fortune and pretty much swallowed the artificially flavored corn starch, flour and sugar concoction whole.  Had I not remained in the room, I’m not sure he ever would’ve realized he was trying to digest a piece of paper with it.

The eating habits of a growing beast really should be a series on Nat Geo or Animal Planet.  Mass consumption, mass quantities and in a minimal amount of time.  I’m always finding containers of empty fishie crackers, nilla wafers, chex mix, chocolate milk or beef jerky (of course) left behind like a stripped carcass just after a carnivore’s kill.  Nothing left but the shell of what once was.

It happens with produce too — no need to peel the carrots or slice the apples — the whole thing is consumed save the apple stem and seeds — even the crunchy core.   Needless to say, I buy organic produce for him for sure.

I remember when this trend first began, it was an alarming incident.  For those of you who never knew, if you eat an entire bag of carrots in one day, your urine will turn reddish-brown.  So don’t freak out like we did not knowing what to think until we realized what the day’s ‘snack’ before dinner had been.

While my younger beast is a healthy eater, I’ve not yet seen him make the transformation into the world of shoveling, inhaling, gulping, repeat — not just yet.  And after last night, I have confirmed it is not just my beast.  Today I was entertained with the musical medley of slurping, whistling and smacking as 3 of my elder beasts overnight guests indulged themselves with a mid-morning snack of ramen noodles.   I really thought they were joking, but no, it was quite unmistakable.  The food had to be consumed and it had to be fast and it had to be now.  So I just had to walk away.

I’ve always told my husband that kids who don’t eat just make me nervous, and maybe it’s because I like to cook.  So now I am blessed with a child carrying a monstrous appetite or really a monstrous ability to consume.  Thankfully, he is lean and slender and I know it is just his growing season. At least I’m pretty sure that’s all it is.

Parenting Tip:  Keep a drawer or shelf in the pantry that is designated just for kids’ snacks that they don’t need permission to get into.  It teaches younger kids to be self-sufficient, and you don’t have to be at their beck and call every time they get hungry.

[1 Cor. 6:13  You know the old saying, “First you eat to live, and then you live to eat”? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that’s no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it as we wish. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body!]